girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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