I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
