is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
