just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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