i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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