i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
