Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
