I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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