I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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