Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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