your room smells of hookers.
And success
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
