my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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