I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
