There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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