whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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