Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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