Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
