The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
