There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
In America we eat man semen.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
