So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
