I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
