I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
