do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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