3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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