Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
