dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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