She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dear god my vagina.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
