K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
