The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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