I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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