i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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