Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do herpes really smell.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
