Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
