piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
