and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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