Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
