you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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