I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
