in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
