2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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