i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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