sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
