I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
