FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
