i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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