How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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