Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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