I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
