Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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