Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
